Playbooks & Perspective: Coaching Lessons That Last

In 2020 during the ides of COVID, I tried writing a book. I mean, who didn’t have time for a new hobby? Although five years have passed, I am not giving up on the project.

For the book I reached out to rising star coaches, in hopes of being able to have myself, and others, learn from them. These three wonderful human beings responded and gave incredible insight.

Joshua O’Connor: Head football and track and field coach for Sun Prairie West High School in Sun Prairie, WI. Josh was immediately named an assistant coach at a division 1 high school right out of college. Six short years later he was named the head football and track and field coach at a brand new division 1 high school in one of the most prominent sports cities in the state, Sun Prairie Wisconsin. 

Mallory Liebl: Assistant girls basketball coach for Millikin University. Mallory took over as the girls head coach at Brookfield Central High School in Brookfield, WI at the young age of 26 years old. 8 years later, through a vast amount of success, she was named an assistant at Bryant-Stratton University. In her first year there they made it to Nationals. She used that success as a launching pad to keep moving up in the field of collegiate coaching.

Jay Benish: Head boys basketball coach at Oconomowoc High School in Oconomowoc, WI. He worked many high level camps at UW-Madison (with Bo Ryan), University of Illinois (with Bill Self), Creighton (with Dana Altman), and many others throughout the Midwest. Jay played for and was an assistant coach at Viterbo University in La Crosse, WI. After four years at Viterbo he took a head coaching job at Jefferson High School, WI.  He is one of the most connected coaches in the state. He’s not only coaching, but he’s also on the board for the Wisconsin Basketball Coaches Association. Working on the WBCA board, he runs the state coaching clinic which draws hundreds of coaches per year.

What is one thing you wish you would’ve known when you started?

O’connor: “When I entered into the coaching profession, I thought the most important thing to know was the X's & O's of the sport. Whether that be the techniques of coaching a thrower in track & field or the schemes that one installs in football, I thought that was the number one thing to focus on. But, and I think this is important at all levels, not just the high school level, coaching is more about the psychology of coaching rather than the X's & O's. Learning how to connect with and motivate athletes to push themselves to be their best is the key to being successful as a coach. I wish I would have known that right away, even though I feel like I did pick up on it much quicker than most coaches.”

Liebl: “One thing I wish I knew when I got started coaching is how important asking for help is. There are so many aspects to coaching that have nothing to do with actual coaching and it’s ok to allow others to help when they offer. Everything that is expected from a coach can get overwhelming and burn you out if you try to do it all on your own - I struggled early in my coaching career to allow others to help as I didn’t want to burden them but once I accepted that help, I was able to focus even more on coaching our team. I don’t think many coaches like the administrative part of the job, so if there are people who are willing to take some of that off your list of things to do, let them.” 

Benish: “As much as you think you have a philosophy and plan for how you would do things, you still need to ask for help and lean on veteran coaches that you have built friendships and relationships with to help you navigate what it means to build a program.  Putting in the work on the floor in practices and games is something that most people that know the game of basketball can do, but to truly run a program and do it well for a long time, there is so much more that goes into it.  Learning to communicate with administration and staff in the high school, building culture,  running a youth program, dealing with parents, talking to the media, promoting your program and kids, and so much more.  If it was just about coaching on the floor, you would see a lot less turnover of coaches at the high school level.  Too many guys get into it for the wrong reasons or neglect the parts of the program that really need a head coach's attention if you plan to sustain your program and be successful.  Unfortunately many young coaches don't want to deal with all of the "other stuff", especially if the success isn't there early on.  This is where you need a strong group of assistant coaches, a hard-working athletic director and supportive administration to help you get through those first few years no matter if you are winning or not.”

What is the personality trait that has helped you the most as a coach?

O’connor: “Being prepared and organized has been the two most helpful, but at first it tended to be more of a hindrance. When I started coaching I would prepare practice plans and want to follow them exactly as planned, even if it wasn't what the athletes needed at that moment. Now, I'm still as prepared and organized, but I use preparation and organization to feel confident heading into a practice or game, while also knowing that I will likely need to stray from the plan at some point.” 

Liebl: “Humility is probably the personality trait that has helped me most as a coach. I know I don’t know everything, I won’t ever know everything but I want to be a relentless learner and continue to grow as a coach on and off the court so that our players can get the best version of myself to help them and be there for them. The game continues to evolve and not being too stubborn to adjust to how it’s changing is so important - it’s our job to put our players in the best possible position to be successful, as coaches we need to get out of our own way and evolve with the game.”

Benish: “I would say that patience has been the most important for me.  When I was recruiting at Viterbo, I used to go watch a lot of high school games and I would watch the coaches to see if I could learn something from them.  We were recruiting several kids from Holmen High School and I used to love watching their coach stay calm, patient, and never need to raise his voice to get the most out of his players.  His demeanor and patience with his players allowed their team to just play and not get caught up in the distractions around them.  I liked that style and tried to add it to how I coached.  I watched Coach McKenzie, a legendary coach in Minneapolis, coach his Minneapolis Patrick Henry team as I was recruiting one of his players.  Coach McKenzie showed patience in a different way.  He had built such positive and trusting relationships with his players, that he could just coach and really push his players to be their best.  He knew his kids so well that he displayed patience with them on and off the floor because he knew what he would get out of each of them. For me, at Jefferson, I had to be patient because I knew we weren't going to come in there and win 20 games in year one.  I had to look at the big picture and where we wanted to be by year 3 and year 5 and so on.  Even from practice to practice and game to game, I had to look at how we could get the kids to win the small battles and show improvement each time we stepped on the floor.  I learned that the only way to do this was to be consistent in our approach in practice and games as a coaching staff and that I needed to be able to learn from mistakes and then let them go so I could come back the next day ready to go.”

Is there a mentor that helped you along the way? Tell me about what they did for you. 

O’connor: “At each step in my coaching career there have been different people that I've learned from in different ways by simply watching and reflecting on what they do. Some of the best lessons I've learned in coaching have been by observing another coach in action and then reflecting on what I liked that they did and, maybe even more important, what I didn't like and how I would do it differently. But when it comes down to a mentor, I would say Ryan McMillen, previously the Head Football Coach at Oconomowoc and currently the Athletic Director at Muskego, was my first mentor because he noticed something in me as a coach and helped me take on new roles and responsibilities. He took me on as a volunteer coach while I was student-teaching. I know he pushed for me to get a teaching job when it opened in Oconomowoc and put me into the Head Freshman sooner than I thought I'd be in that role. He also pushed me to have a larger role in our track program, which eventually led to me transitioning into the head coaching position. He still serves as a mentor to me now. When I was considering applying for the head football job at Sun Prairie West I talked with him about the process on multiple occasions. To summarize it, he was a great mentor because he pushed me outside of my comfort zone as a coach so I could continually improve and get better, but he was also always there to support and help me through the process of developing.” 

Liebl: “I have had many mentors who have helped me in a multitude of ways, I’ll always be thankful for everyone who has helped guide me. One person specifically has made an immense impact on me as a coach with his mentorship. I was his assistant JV coach my first year at DSHA, he took a varsity coaching job and then became my assistant at DSHA for a year before we both left for BC where he was my assistant for 6 of the 8 years. He did so much for me, most importantly he has always been honest with me even if it’s been something I don’t want to hear, I know he has always had my best interest at heart and wants me to succeed. He has always been extremely loyal which is so needed as the coaching world can be lonely at times, if you don’t have some people that you can completely trust, it can be tough. He has always been there for me to support me, to talk to, to vent to, to share the highs and the lows. He has been so valuable in my coaching career, without his mentorship especially when I first started coaching, I’d have really struggled.”

Benish: “I had so many mentors and each of them played a role in molding me into the coach that I have become.  I am a lifelong learner so I know there will be more mentors, young and old, that will help me to continue to grow even 20 years into my coaching career.  I grew up going to the gym every day with my dad and being around him, as he was our varsity coach for 28 years, in the gym, I was able to soak up so much and it really is what gave me the passion to love the game of basketball and get into coaching.  As I mentioned earlier, Coach Wagner, my college coach, was huge in showing me how to navigate the behind the scenes things that go into being a professional in everything you do.  He helped to mold my philosophy about base offense and defense.  Over the years, there have been so many coaches that I am lucky enough to call friends that I have met with to pick their brain about how they do things and why they do things, and so on.  Coach Petitgoue is a legend in the coaching industry and he has always told me that the key to being a good coach is to keep growing as a person and approach every new person you meet as someone that you can learn something from.  Never be afraid to ask someone about something they do, it's how you get better and you never know how you might be able to add value to them as well.”

The future of coaching will look different than it does right now. You saw up until the 2000s coaches didn’t have to connect with athletes as much. They could be way more aggressive. How do you adjust as culture adjusts? Do you think we’ll go through another culture shift in your career?

O’connor: “Coaching, to me, has and always will be focused on building a relationship founded on trust. As our culture changes, so too does the way we build trust. In the past, it was much easier for an individual in a position of power to be trusted simply because of their title. The "old-school approach" to coaching that was more aggressive could happen because being a coach was a title of respect and athletes trusted their coach because that's what they were supposed to do. Now it takes more time and work to build trust with athletes because we encourage individuals in our society to question and seek understanding. With how technology is pushing changes in our society, I'm sure there will be culture shifts that coaches my age will have to adjust to. I'm not sure what that change will be though. many people say the pendulum will swing back the other way, but I'm not sure if that will be the case.” 

Liebl: “I agree that the culture has changed but I believe that building relationships has always been and will always be most important. Building relationships can be very challenging at times, sometimes personalities don’t mesh well but if you truly take the time to care about all players off the court and build that trust with them, not only can you coach kids with intensity, you can also be a great resource for them off the court. Just because someone has “coach” before their name, doesn’t make it ok to berate and disrespect them and I believe that also goes for coaches to players, being a coach doesn’t give you the right to completely tear a kid down. What I cherish most as a coach is watching kids grow as players and people, during their time in our program and as they move on in life, continuing to be involved in their lives in a different capacity. I believe as long as that relationship piece is kept at the forefront, the changing culture won’t mean changing your coaching style. I think the culture will continue to shift, it’s shifted so much just in my coaching career to this point and it seems like every year brings new ways of coaching, new ideas and new concepts.” 

Benish: “I honestly look more at coaching as not necessarily having to make these shift with culture, but instead, knowing your players, who they are and what they need to be successful on and off the floor, so you can continue to grow the culture in a way the gets their buy-in without sacrificing the foundation and expectations that are set in your culture.  I think you can coach forever and have success as long as you are willing to continue to grow along with the game and stay connected to what is relevant in the times.  Things are constantly changing and becoming better or worse, but if you have strong values that you live by and hold people accountable to, then the rest of the changes are really trends and ideas that you either grow with or lose sight of.”

What motivates you? What keeps you going through stressful times?

O’connor: “When it comes down to it, I want to make participating in sports a positive experience for the student-athletes that I'm working with. Yes, I want them to be successful in the sport of football or their event in track & field, but ultimately I want them to learn the characteristics that help them be successful individuals later on in life. So what keeps me going through stressful times is knowing that I'm modeling successful behaviors to the student-athletes that are watching me. We teach our athletes E+R=O and that has been something that has guided my life since I've learned about it.” 

Liebl: “What motivates me is wanting to be the best I can be for the players that I coach. Coaching can be overwhelmingly exhausting at times and with that comes stress but we expect commitment and accountability from our players so when that happens, that’s enough motivation to do everything possible to put them in a position to be successful. There is nothing better than to see our players achieve success and learn life lessons along the way. I believe sports is life's greatest teacher.  I love everything that goes into coaching, even during the difficult times, walking into a gym with a group of kids to share your passion with makes it all worth it. Being able to build their confidence, especially young females, help them become leaders, seeing them grow on and off the court and seeing them find joy in the game is the best motivation.”

Benish: “I really never think about it as stressful times.  Yes there are day to day tasks during the season that can be stressful, especially when you are running around trying to get everything done or get through a tough stretch where your team isn't playing their best.  When it really comes down to it, I don't think about stress because I always come back to one thing, Am I doing everything I can to provide a great high school basketball experience for my players on and off the floor?  If I can answer yes to that question, then I am really thinking about the big picture for each of my players and not get caught up in the results of a game.  I want to see my guys work hard everyday, be great teammates, be coachable, care about each other and our team, be great students, be kind people, be leaders, and ultimately go on beyond high school basketball and have successful lives where they make a difference at their job and have happy marriages and families.  So no, I don't get stressed about basketball, I just need to know that I am making a difference in the lives of the young men I coach so they can go on and use everything they have learned from playing a game to be a successful person for the rest of their life.  The beauty of this approach for me is that this is also my motivation for being a coach.”

What is one piece of advice you’d offer someone who is looking to embark in a career in coaching?

O’connor: “Learning through experience is ideal, but if you can learn from someone else's experience, that is even better. Pay attention to individuals that are in the position you eventually want to be in. Pay attention to their actions and how they either lead to being successful in that situation or struggling in that situation.” 

Liebl: “Be you, don’t be someone that you think others want you to be or change who you are as a coach due to outside factors. You can’t make everyone happy, it’s impossible, there will always be people that aren’t happy with decisions you make but as long as you stay true to yourself and your convictions, do what you believe is best for a team and program. To be a coach you have to have thick skin and that doesn’t just happen, it takes time but most importantly it takes a belief in yourself. Surround yourself with people that truly support you, believe in you, that you can trust and keep that circle small. This will help tremendously to block out the doubters.”

Benish: “Constantly be learning and asking questions.  Spend time working for good people that do it the right way and then develop your own philosophies from that.  Never be afraid to steal ideas from good programs and reuse them on your own.  There is no need to reinvent the wheel if someone else is already doing something really well, but I would always say adapt it to fit your program.  Just because it works for someone else doesn't mean it will work for you unless you make it fit what you are doing.  Be a lifelong learner...read, watch, do, and take positive risks when it comes to advancing your career.  Get involved in growing the game of basketball.”